I was once Superman. Able to leap tall hurdles, faster
than a speeding six year old, more powerful than the average person.
Then came the day I met my match against an unassuming thirty gallon
water heater. What was supposed to be a simple task sent bolts of
lightening shooting down my legs and fear into my mind. Today, two years
later I found myself in a doctor's office crying like a baby as the
doctor wrote up a script for an antidepressant.
Damn, I thought I was doing fine. I had my surgery and
rehab is underway. I've learned the basics of web design and have been
looking forward to going to school to learn more so I can support my
family again. I have a wonderful, special wife and my children are a
gift from God. I am strong and have no weakness other than my physical
limitations.
Still, there is a cloud hovering over me and it's not
of my doing. The shadow of depression has crept into my life and I never
recognized the symptoms. Little things bother me. I'm frustrated often.
I'm grumpy towards those that I love. I don't sleep well. Some mornings
I want to close my eyes and my mind, to hide from the challenges of
life. I want to cry. Why do I feel that punching holes in the wall would
make me feel better? I wish for a drug that would hide my despair.
I'm going to be ok. Although I feel a bit defeated
having to take a medication to control my emotions I realize that my
present situation, constant pain and an uncertain future has caused a
chemical imbalance in my brain and it is not something I have any
control over. I though I was fine, I'm not but I will be.
I write this for you, the injured worker who's life
has changed and presented you with situations you never were prepared to
face. If you are feeling despair, anxiety, anger, frustration and all
you want to do is close your eyes so it will go away...........see a
doctor and realize although life may be not what it used to be, there
are blessings all around us if we choose to look past the pain.